Midnight thoughts..
God sends every person angels to surround him .. to drench him with all the meanings of love and care.. they might not seem as "angelic" .. but who said angels had a dress code?
Your family, your loved ones, your friends.. and your soul mates.. love them.. in whatever way it was..
Its one of those moments tears wouldn't stop rolling like an avalanche on your cheeks knowing how distant u were from those you loved.. you wished you shared every second with them.. every moment with them.. you wished if you shared all those smiles.. and the glowing eyes.. you wished you shed their tears and kissed them good bye..
Long distance relationships isn't necessary a relationship that is literally "long distance" .. its the distance between the souls that counts.. sometimes you meet someone and geographically they are away .. very far away.. yet you feel their presence around you.. you feel their arms.. the warmth of their voice in your ears.. you close your eyes and you can actually see them.. there .. in front of you.. so you just smile knowing that somewhere on earth .. someone is thinking of you.. from the bottom of their hearts..
I do confess i had a lot of long distance relationships.. some which failed and others .. i cling to them with all the strength in my heart.. i do admit in terms of my family.. i failed.. i created a shell over myself.. "if u want to see who is guilty... look at yourself in the mirror".. i failed them in many occasions.. i lacked the communication with them.. to tell you the truth i still can't communicate totally with them.. always end up with problems due to that reason..
I had a good talk with my aunt today.. i asked her how was i when i was a kid.. and she said something funny.. she said that i used to love playing alone.. i'd sit in a corner and play alone with my barbies.. the funny part was that she told me they actually consulted a "shrink" cause they were worried about me.. so i carried this feeling with me.. the need to have my own comfort zone.. private zone which i shared with very very very few people. She also said that no matter how much mom tried to teach me manners.. i'd always speak out my mind without thinking twice putting mom in really awkward situations.. (still am)
I grew up.. i believe i did.. yet it doesnt seem that mom managed to find a solution.. incidents and situations forced me to try to adopt a new habit.. keep your feelings to yourself.. i did that for a while.. trust me that was the most difficult year of my life.. actually it never reached a year.. am a person who just can't keep her feelings to herself no matter how much she tries...
If i love someone.. i don't care who they are.. i'd just tell them no matter what time it is.. no matter when.. i'd tell them i love them.. (exculde my family please.. ) .. if i hated something.. now i learnt to either "not talk about it" or just try to say it in a proper way.. and isn't that difficult.. but my eyes fail me.. my facial expressions usually let me down..
Your family, your loved ones, your friends.. and your soul mates.. love them.. in whatever way it was..
Its one of those moments tears wouldn't stop rolling like an avalanche on your cheeks knowing how distant u were from those you loved.. you wished you shared every second with them.. every moment with them.. you wished if you shared all those smiles.. and the glowing eyes.. you wished you shed their tears and kissed them good bye..
Long distance relationships isn't necessary a relationship that is literally "long distance" .. its the distance between the souls that counts.. sometimes you meet someone and geographically they are away .. very far away.. yet you feel their presence around you.. you feel their arms.. the warmth of their voice in your ears.. you close your eyes and you can actually see them.. there .. in front of you.. so you just smile knowing that somewhere on earth .. someone is thinking of you.. from the bottom of their hearts..
I do confess i had a lot of long distance relationships.. some which failed and others .. i cling to them with all the strength in my heart.. i do admit in terms of my family.. i failed.. i created a shell over myself.. "if u want to see who is guilty... look at yourself in the mirror".. i failed them in many occasions.. i lacked the communication with them.. to tell you the truth i still can't communicate totally with them.. always end up with problems due to that reason..
I had a good talk with my aunt today.. i asked her how was i when i was a kid.. and she said something funny.. she said that i used to love playing alone.. i'd sit in a corner and play alone with my barbies.. the funny part was that she told me they actually consulted a "shrink" cause they were worried about me.. so i carried this feeling with me.. the need to have my own comfort zone.. private zone which i shared with very very very few people. She also said that no matter how much mom tried to teach me manners.. i'd always speak out my mind without thinking twice putting mom in really awkward situations.. (still am)
I grew up.. i believe i did.. yet it doesnt seem that mom managed to find a solution.. incidents and situations forced me to try to adopt a new habit.. keep your feelings to yourself.. i did that for a while.. trust me that was the most difficult year of my life.. actually it never reached a year.. am a person who just can't keep her feelings to herself no matter how much she tries...
If i love someone.. i don't care who they are.. i'd just tell them no matter what time it is.. no matter when.. i'd tell them i love them.. (exculde my family please.. ) .. if i hated something.. now i learnt to either "not talk about it" or just try to say it in a proper way.. and isn't that difficult.. but my eyes fail me.. my facial expressions usually let me down..
Throughout my life.. the year 1998 was a major turning point in my life.. just graduated from highschool.. just like a small chick cracking out of his shell.. stumbling when he walks.. yet he does manage to walk.. and look at him when he falls on his face.. doesn't he get up again.. with the help of others.. maybe he was the ugly duckling; but by time he realized that no matter how "ugly" he looked.. people could love him for who he is .. and he loved back.. with all his heart.. but is everyone worth loving that much? Take it an advice from me.. NO .. !
When u love someone .. whoever he/she is .. whether it was a long distance relationship .. or a "so close yet so far" kind of relationship make sure to love them for who they are .. for the details that make them... for the different smiles they have.. for the way they sleep or snore when sleeping .. for their medical history .. and even for their spelling mistakes.. for every single detail about them.. just like a perfect painting that mixes different colors and textures.. the color black was used to color the shadow of that scene.. although its "black" but it made that painting more beautiful.. more special.. an exteremelly unique painting that has its own identity..
I love you.. with all your details..
8 comments:
http://www.shalaat.com/main/playmaq-566-0.html
7agch^
To begin with, don't be harsh on yourself. Whoever loves you sincerily will accept you the way you are.
Come close- I just adore the way you are my beloved sister. At least you aint faking your identity. Sweets, the whole thing in relations is to clarify your stand and if people didn't get the ideology behind it, it is their problem. You don't have to change who you are unless you really want to clinge to someone that can't stand specific changes. I mean they don't understand why you act in a specific manner. In anything remember, be it business, marriage, work, and a case involves people with different mentalities there must be MARAD or set of rules ppl can refer to when things get blurred. hence, fe deen, fe 3rf, fe personal principles..ysee what i mean. However, as I always say there is a share in people. so dnt get urself into headaches.
What matters is memo's in the end in any relation and those who don't appreciate it, I hope they get mature. [[la tansaw al fa'9l baynakm ]]
I need to mention one last thing, " fdait rabiii yoam 36any '3alyeh mthlech"...
agol heard of ( afdeik eb roo7y ya wa6ani, ya omi...blah blah blah)...I always thought ppl exaggerate in this phrase, until gories them into 7 groups: Distant friends/Potential friends/Interest friends/Buddy friends/Good friends/Close friends/Real friends. Each time i log in which should be around twice/thrice a week if i remember, i will talk about each catergory and at the
://www.shalaat.com/main/playmaq-566-0.html
7agch^
To begin with, don't be harsh on yourself. Whoever loves you sincerily will accept you the way you are.
Come close- I just adore the way you are my beloved sister. At least you aint faking your identity. Sweets, the whole thing in relations is to clarify your stand and if people didn't get the ideology behind it, it is their problem. You don't have to change who you are unless you really want to clinge to someone that can't stand specific changes. I mean they don't understand why you act in a specific manner. In anything remember, be it business, marriage, work, and a case involves people with different mentalities there must be MARAD or set of rules ppl can refer to when things get blurred. hence, fe deen, fe 3rf, fe personal principles..ysee what i mean. However, as I always say there is a share in people. so dnt get urself into headaches.
What matters is memo's in the end in any relation and those who don't appreciate it, I hope they get mature. [[la tansaw al fa'9l baynakm ]]
I need to mention one last thing, " fdait rabiii yoam 36any '3alyeh mthlech"...
agol heard of ( afdeik eb roo7y ya wa6ani, ya omi...blah blah blah)...I always thought ppl exaggerate in this phrase until I met u.
what can i say...? don't you notice that it's usually times like these when one is required to have something wise and comforting to say, is when one seems to be at a loss for words?
the shrink thing made me laugh; remember how we always said we need a shrink? well, it seems like u already had one as a kid lol.. kent sharatich, playing alone and stuff too, i dont know if they asked for a shrink :p maybe i should see
it's interesting how you define failure as shelling yourself when you need your own private time.. how would u define success, then? would it be its opposite equivelant?
i dont believe in such a thing as failing to love, for emotions are expressed in different ways that some are good at grasping while others are not.. i'm interested to know what ur definition is, though
i miss you :) and i love you.. *big hug* keep smiling, i was told that u had a beautiful one ;)
p.s
i loved ur last sentence, "I love you.. with all your details..."
what can i say...? don't you notice that it's usually times like these when one is required to have something wise and comforting to say, is when one seems to be at a loss for words?
the shrink thing made me laugh; remember how we always said we need a shrink? well, it seems like u already had one as a kid lol.. kent sharatich, playing alone and stuff too, i dont know if they asked for a shrink :p maybe i should see
it's interesting how you define failure as shelling yourself when you need your own private time.. how would u define success, then? would it be its opposite equivelant?
i dont believe in such a thing as failing to love, for emotions are expressed in different ways that some are good at grasping while others are not.. i'm interested to know what ur definition is, though
i miss you :) and i love you.. *big hug* keep smiling, i was told that u had a beautiful one ;)
p.s
i loved ur last sentence, "I love you.. with all your details..."
why are the comments getting duplicated?
so -
u know, when u described ur childhood to me, it didn't sound out-of-place. it sounded SOOO u!
on the outside, u are my gorgeoussssss-est person ever! but there is this immense beauty in ur soul that goes beyond words. i cannot describe it and as u mention ur childhood, it exudes the same beauty.
i can't believe they took u to a shrink...lol!
if we don't take people for who they are, it only hurts us, and nobody else. i love u too...with all ur details :))
got fed up of checking this page everyday .. yallah 3aad.. update :p
waiting
I do not know, if you are going to read this or not.
It has been a long time since 1998.
and the world changed alot since.
If you haven't evolved since then, than you are falling behind girl.
Life is not all about relationships, friends, family; and at the same time it is not every other thing in life other than those.
I will not try to define life, I will only tell you what I think!!
My life is what I had; and what can I work with. The way I plan it, and live it, and imagine it. Though alot of thinks are predetermined and fixed, yet, I have a choice, and the choice I make is my life.
Live happy, and Live strong, like the flower you wrote about, facing the storm, yet fragrant. You know why the authour among all the other things in life, chose the flower to be in the center of his phrase. No , not the looks, nor the fragrance, it is only because it is fragile. Think of it, and you will understand what lies between the lines.
LaterS
:)
The world changed...and we sure did.. we had to evolve around it...sometimes we need that push from those around us to be able to stay strong.. and live strong.. the flower needs water doesn't she... otherwise her fragile petals would die quickly...
reading between the lines is tricky you know ;) but learning..
:)
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