Flash Back..

I had my hands chained with a rusted chain...clueless i was yet i didn't resist it...i saw it coming.. but was i blind or naive..

Hatred, torture, lies, and a camouflage of reality was killing me.. and when i managed to run away.. i didn't realize that my hands were still chained..

I looked around and found myself under a nested web that was sticking around me... but i hated it.. am claustrophobic and i hate being in such situations... i couldn’t breathe.. but it was pressing on me from everywhere... i tried to pull my breath.. deeply.. from my throat... but my adrenaline was rushing in my veins like a winter shower.. and how creepy everything felt..

i saw myself being detached slowly from where i was standing into a darker cooler room.. with echoes.. and voices.. and i felt the ants under my skin moving quickly in circles.. it’s cold.. its dark and its scary...

you can feel the touch.. a cold one like needles.. you can feel the words.. the frozen tone ... and there i was lost in that dark room with chains around my arm.. and a nested web all over me..
shivering.. holding my knees to my chest.. as if stopping my heart from popping out of my lungs....and my stomach from throwing up... but i couldn't stop my tears... my sobs and cries... and burning heartache.. i can't breathe.. i can't reach out.. am alone.. and am scared.. am petrified..

I then realized it was only a flashback....

i hate flashbacks.. and yes i do get some every now on then.. occasionally..

i thought i was over them.. but thoughts are not reality..

i was chained with memories and experiences.. and thoughts were all over me.. if i focus and work on letting go one at a time... detaching myself... then i will be unchained..

why now.. why after all those years you decided to remind me of my past.. is it a reality i would have to remember always and live with?

A Last Dot:
A thought can have more destructive power than a missile...
but the will in us is more powerful than a nuclear bomb....
Don't surrender... they are only thoughts..
T H O U G H T !
You can't blow them away... but u can get over them... it takes time.. 7 years? 10? 2 .. it just takes time..